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 Ask Anna Anna:Hi Anna how are you? I had some questions that I need answers to. Well I am really tired of living in this trailer house that I been living in for years and there is this house In Rushville that I would like to buy. Do you see me buying this home cause I am undecided and is the man that I am with still in love with me? Another thing at the office there is some strange things happening up here like the paper shredder comes on and the copy machine spits out papers, what is it? You know where we are located in the old hospital building. Wants to buy a house Dear Wants to buy a house: You can buy a house in Rushville, but I don’t think the deal of this one goes through. Don’t give up, there is a house that will be available for you in the spring, that has better financial terms. The old hospital in Pine Ridge is HAUNTED. It is a good one for Ghost Busters on TV. I have seen such creepy things there, and the energy of the building can work on people and make them cranky and I think that it even pro motes gossip and back stabbing. There are children in the far end of the building that haunt the hallways and the rooms (I think at one time it was the OB center, and before that it may have been a TB center). I have seen the tall man that wears a black cape in and around that building. He is an old ancient spirit that seems to appear in the fall of the year. He seems to leave during the Sun Dance season. He is looking for a home in some poor soul that has lost his spirit to drugs and alcohol. When I work in your building, I try to make a plan to leave by 5:00 p.m. There are restless and ungrounded spirits that walk those halls every night. I haven’t heard of any of them hurting anybody, but they are spooky. I think it would take a legion of medicine men, ministers, and Catholic priests to release all the pain and suffering that those halls encom pass. The good news is that I see that build ing going away. I know that alternative officespace needs to be found, but I have a hunch that there is adequate space in and around Kyle, Porcupine and Pine Ridge. Good Luck. Try and leave by 5. Anna Bee, Hello, how are you doing? I hope all is well and good for you. I wrote to you about a month ago but never heard from you; maybe you’re too busy or you did not get the email, but I’m just writing you and hope to hear from you soon. Any ways, I’ve been with the man that I love so dearly for eleven years and I had a feeling he was messing around on me; I asked and he told me he was. We’re back together working things out. So far, so good, but I just need to know if you see us getting married? And do you see him doing it to me again? Is that why he al ways has his phone on him and he keeps it locked? He said he wouldn’t do it again, but what do you see? I so totally believe him. And another question I’ve been having financial problems a lot of bills, and do you see me winning the lot tery or coming across any extra money that will help me with my financial problems? Do you see him still talking to her? Please write me back soon. Thank you for your time. Wondering and scared Dear Wondering and Scared: I can predict probabilities here; in other words there are two probable futures: One is that the two of you succeed in having a good healthy marriage and that you both are faithful; and the other is that your worries from the past (your FEAR) will overtake your faith in him and everything will come down to one moment, when he does have another af fair, because you totally tortured him with your insecurities, and he reacted through destructive motivation. Do you get it? I will simplify a bit: He is meaning to be faithful to you right now, but he is afraid of the control you have over him. He is being faithful, but he does not wish to be monitored or controlled. He is meaning well in this relationship. Now, because he already betrayed your confidence and was disrespectful to you, you have a bruise on your heart, it has to heal and that takes time. The two of you have made an agreement to heal the wounding to the relationship. The first respectful thing that he can do is to unlock his phone. He can help re build the trust he broke by allowing his phone to be unlocked. This does not give you permission to answer it unless he asks you to; but it does imply that he is not doing anything that causes you con cern. Tell him I said that if he wants to rebuild trust he can unlock his phone. If he does not unlock his phone, then you will not fully trust him, and you will live with the profound fear that he will be unfaithful again. With that fear alive within you, you will mistrust him no matter what he says or does. That will anger him and he will eventually respond by resuming his affair; because he is constantly reminded that he is the bad guy. Conversely, if he unlocks his phone, you will feel that you can trust him and the relationship can blossom into a healthy marriage. This is a good example of how just one thing can change the nature of a relationship, friendships, and even peace in the world. Just one thing. Hello Anna. I have spoke with you over the phone once after you finished talking with my mom. I remember you told me then that in 2 years I will meet someone and then you told me about my job, money and school. This past summer I went through a major life change with my health. I found that I had a very low blood level and had to undergo blood transfusions then they found the reason for that was a tumor in my uterus or outside of my uterus which caused all of that and I had to then go through a hysterectomy. I am at least in my opinion ok with it to a point. I just wished that the I.H.S. per sonnel could of found this sooner when I would go in with the same complaint. It seemed like they treated the symp toms and avoided the problems because they failed to diagnose me properly. It took two new doctors to actually say “Hey this isn't right and this is what we are going to do.” I know I made a choice when I had a tubalization after my daughter but there was always that pos sibility till now. My question is: I feel like I am scared to move away from this Reservation and al though I know I will succeed, it seems like there is something holding me back. And I have joint custody of my daughter, she doesn't like to go to her dad's during his summer visitation but I have taken him to court to change this and the judge keeps denying my request. Why? Another question is: I really do like this man but something tells me we won't last that it's not forever. I am totally comfortable around him and with him but I think he has commitment issues or he's embarrassed of me or embarrassed to call me his girlfriend. I don't know. But what could possibly be holding me back, What could I do to keep my daughter with me and what is this man's problem with me or himself to he won't commit to me? Thank you for your time and patience with me on this. I am just at a point in my life where I know I need to change but how and why can't I seem to get on with it. Wondering Dear Wondering:
I am thanking you for your letter. It is not uncommon for stories like yours to be told. The problem that I.H.S. has of early diagnostic referral services such as C.A.T. scans and M.R.I’s is unaccept able. This equipment, along with trained technicians has to become a priority in all major I.H.S. Hospitals and emergency service locations. There are no more ex cuses. I know of at least one death this month related to poor diagnostic serv ices at I.H.S. in Pine Ridge. Adequate budget to cover M.R.I.’s, C.A.T. scans and other diagnostic tests should be available to every Indian person as needed without regard to budget restric tions. People are dying while waiting au thorization for tests. Now back to you: The judge doesn’t see any tangible or damning reason to stop your ex from having visitation with your daughter. The way I see it is that you just can’t MAKE her go. She just doesn’t want to, and she is too big for you to carry, and it is not right that she be forced through physical coercion to go. I would speak to a legal tribal advisor and ask that the message be given to the court that you cannot force your daugh ter to go to visitation. Ask the court if they will visit with your daughter. They will. You are right about the man in your life. He isn’t a forever after type of guy. He is a good friend, but please plan your life for the highest good of your daughter and you, and not around this man. He is part of the “hope” energy that is keeping you from moving yourself forward in time. (I “hope” for this to work out, or that to work out, or when this works out…) It is okay not to move in the very mo ment that you conceive the notion that you should. Moving is easiest when it is planned and coordinated. You will start putting the pieces of your life together in a good way when you seriously begin ap plying for jobs that are in Colorado and New Mexico, and Nevada and California. It’s fun. Everything will work out for you in a good way, in good time, with a little planning. I see it happening. I think you will enjoy the high plains desert early morning sunshine. All requests are subject to publication. This column is meant for entertainment purposes only. The Lakota Country Times has no liability regarding this column or the use of this column by anyone. |
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