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OUR YOUNG RELATIVES DESERVE BETTER




 

 

Valentine’s Day is when many couples get married. When a couple enters into a relationship it’s supposed to be a lifetime commitment to love, honor and cherish. Couples in committed relationships display healthy behavior when they express their love for one another on a daily basis, instead of waiting for one specific day in February.

There are many of us who don’t really understand what relationships entail. Being involved in a relationship takes a lot of work. Many of us get involved with members of the opposite sex (or the same sex) very early in life. The first romantic relationship we experience as a young person usually sets the stage for the ones which might follow.

There are numerous dysfunctional romantic relationships on our reservations. Add alcohol or drugs to this dysfunction and you’re bound to have disasters. There’s an extreme amount of violence in many romantic relationships.

When children are involved, they’re witness to the conflict which defines many relationships. The children are caught in the middle of the relationship and are used as a bartering tool. These aren’t healthy behaviors. Our Lakota children are deeply traumatized by watching the violence their parents, or other extended family members, engage in while drinking vodka or using meth.

We grew up witnessing violence in our families and communities. We have to be the change for our future. The way to a healthy family is by working on healing ourselves.

We are sacred beings. We don’t deserve to be hurt. Our young relatives deserve safe and healthy relationships. Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, also known as Teen DVAM, is observed in February as a national effort to raise awareness and prevent dating violence in teen and young people’s relationships and to promote healthy relationships.

According to statistics on teen violence among Native American and Alaska Native youth, compiled by the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center, shows more than 40 percent of Native children experience two or more acts of violence by the age of 18.

A 1992 Minnesota youth study found that ninety two percent of American Indian girls who reported having sexual intercourse have been forced against their will to have sex.

The teen dating violence rate among high school students in Alaska’s Native communities was 13.3 percent, compared to the national average of 9.8 percent.

Alaskan high school students were more likely to have been physically forced to have sexual intercourse in their lives than other U.S. students (10.1 percent versus 7.4 percent).

Twenty-five percent of Native children that are exposed to violence have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) at a higher rate than that found in US soldiers returning home from Afghanistan.

American Indians are 2.5 times more likely to experience sexual assault crimes compared to all other races, and one in three Indian women reports having been raped during her lifetime.

Nearly half of all Native American women have been raped, beaten, or stalked by an intimate partner, and one in three will be raped in their lifetime.

On some reservations, Native women are murdered at a rate 10 times higher than the national average.

Women from the StrongHearts Native Helpline, the first culturally appropriate, free national helpline for Native victims of domestic and dating violence, are available to talk about the following topics pertaining to teen dating violence, such as the extent of teen dating violence in our Native communities; what teen dating violence looks like in abusive relationships, including harassment through cell phones and texting; why any form of teen dating violence should be considered serious; and how StrongHearts advocates can help if you’re concerned about teen dating violence a young relative is facing.

Call 1-844-7NATIVE (1-844-762-8483) to visit with women who care.

Vi Waln (Sicangu Lakota) is an award-winning journalist. She can be reached through email vi@lakotatimes.com

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